Jon – Relationships
Your research strengthens your points that alcohol can ruin a person’s life, and also those around them. However, I am not sure what your argument is. To raise the legal age of drinking, since 21 (or in Hong Kong’s case, 18) is too low? Or to lower it, since alcohol can affect anyone in the same way? A bit more clarity to can benefit the reader as to understanding the arguments posed in your writing.
Theodore – Are GMOs Dangerous?
Great article! You have some excellent points regarding the history of genetic modification and selective breeding, as well as excellent rhetorical questions posed in the third paragraph. Your conclusion sums up your article very well – it was short, concise, and to-the-point.
Mike – War on Drug is a Big Failure
The comparison you made at the beginning of the article let the reader understand the overall jist of this article, as well as what your points are going to be. The example you gave regarding the economics in drug trading (supply and demand) is quite insightful, and made the points you made easier to understand. One thing to keep in mind when discussing the economy of drugs is that drugs are quite price inelastic – which is a point you have thoughtfully made in your article. People hooked up on drugs are not just going to stop buying drugs just because the price has gone up – they are going to either keep on spending more and more money, or find an alternative. One thing I would include in your writing is a conclusion stating your view on the topic. Overall, great analysis and argumentative writing on the war on drugs!
Isaac – The Case Against GMOs
Lovely article. Your anecdote that you included in the middle really gives light to the point you are trying to make – the statistics and facts further concrete your stance on this problem! One area I’d improve is to add a conclusion in your writing, so the readers can easily understand and recap your points.
Joseph – Refugees are NOT Terrorists
Great comparison in the beginning of the article, relating current events with what your topic is about. Your research solidifies and amplifies your point that refugees are not terrorists!
“There may be a terrorist attack for every few tens of thousands of refugees entering the country, but such a small number can never outweigh the need to help others who are suffering.” I really appreciate and resonate with this quote! Great Job!